It’s 1984 and you’re sitting at the theater waiting to see the newest summer blockbuster everyone is talking about… Ghostbusters; starring SNL talent Dan Akroyd and Bill Murray along with Harold Ramis, the brain behind classics such as Caddyshack, Animal House, and Stripes. You have your popcorn and soda and can’t wait to see what great comedy gold the movie has in store for you.
Fast forward and the movie is over. The end credits play and you are cheering. This is the greatest movie you have ever seen. You head to the nearest toy store and buy all the Ghostbuster toys and merch. What a day!
Fast forward even more to 2015 and the first trailer for the new Ghostbuster movie plays… “What the f*#$ was that?” you ask yourself.
You’re not alone and we all asked ourselves the same question. It’s a full reboot of a franchise you loved as a kid (and most likely as an adult). They (the studio) took the franchise, bent it over, and had their way with it for a buck. FYI the movie turned out as bad as the trailer made it seem.
It was something no one asked for. A reboot of a franchise that didn’t need a reboot. We all wanted to see the original ghostbusters teaming up and taking on a new other worldly threat. Not slapstick jokes with scooby doo ghosts and proton pack nut shots.
Why is Hollywood doing this to us? There’s no reason to take a beloved movie and crank out a worse version of it because it’s been a couple of years, right? Wrong! Money is the reason. If you could go back and watch your favorite movies again for the first time knowing nothing about them, that would be the greatest feeling in the world.
The studios know that so they take the movies you love, slap some new actors in the roles, polish it up to be more modern and boom! They make a ton of money on something that’s less entertaining and more poorly acted than your child’s 1st grade Christmas play.
Do all reboots fall flat? Again, yes. But why?
Let’s go back to the Ghostbusters example. The 1984 movie was written for and starred some of the best comedic talents of our time. You can tell when an actor legitimately enjoys being in the movie and at no time did you ever feel they were there to make a paycheck. The script was well written and the humor wasn’t cheap gags. It was subtle for the most part and the jokes fit the characters. They relied on more practical effects and used the special effects to enhance the story, not to carry the story. BUT, the best thing they did? The movie wasn’t entirely about catching Ghosts.
Ghostbusters was about 3 friends starting a small business together and the struggles they go through trying to get their business going. The biggest struggle of course, was dealing with the government. They start this business and then the EPA starts poking their nose around for no reason; to the point they actually try to shut them down.
Ghostbusters 2016 was about… something? The big difference was that they turned the whole movie into a slapstick gag. Which is fine if there was no predecessor that had already established you could have a smart, funny movie that didn’t rely entirely on gags. If this movie had come out with no 1984 version before it, I probably wouldn’t have disliked it as much. It also probably wouldn’t have made as much money. The worst part was they took great comedic actors like Melissa Mcarthy, Kristin Wigg, Leslie Jones, and Kate Mckinnen and made THEM the joke. I mean, why did you make 3 smart scientists so dumb in the movie? They literally shot a ghost in the balls with their proton packs. He doesn’t even have balls. Why did that hurt him? screams in outrage
This is just one example, out of a dozen (hundreds?), proving why reboots are cheap and ineffective. I can’t help but bring up Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, starring Johnny Depp. There was nothing wrong with Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Why are you trying to remake the wheel? Again the answer is Money. There are a lot of people who genuinely enjoyed the new movie, many of whom, I’m sure, had never seen the original. Buckle up because I’m not one of them.
The new movie took the performances so seriously that there was nothing left to interpret. Gene Wilder was such a good Wonka that it’s hard to imagine anyone else in that role. He absolutely killed it! From the first time you see him walking up with the cane and then doing the little tuck and roll, you know that he can’t be trusted. It was subtle, it was fun (and Grandpa Joe is a monster, but I digress).
The reboot just said “Here’s my magical world, have fun!” (We didn’t). But again, it’s just using the name and making something to play on people’s nostalgia to make money.
Here are some other terrible reboots: Fantastic 4, Child’s Play, The Mummy, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Conan the Barbarian, the list goes on.
Production studios are a business and they of course want to see a return and minimize the risks. Best way to do that? Capitalize on what we all know and love already and tear it to shreds. Somehow it’s working too!
The bottom line is we are in a time when all the possibilities are endless but we keep going back to the same pools because it’s, apparently, the only way to make money. But where is the goddamn originality? Where’s the heart? Where is the soul?!
I’m sure there’s no end to reboots any time soon but if you’re going to reboot something, take terrible movies and make good versions instead. I would pay top dollar to see a new Waterworld movie that’s actually good. But it has to have Kevin Costner still.
Adam Krause is a combat veteran, husband, father and co-founder of the Spit Take Podcast. You can follow him on Twitter @InfantryAdam.
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